Wednesday, December 20, 2006

im hurting badly inside. but i really hope youre happy.
i cldnt really slp. woke up so early. well, to me, its considered early. 8+ in the morn.
the first thing i did today was to cry, jst when i opened my eyes.
i was very calm the whole night except the fact i cldnt stop thinking about it and crying.
and i wrote a letter to him...
Dear ed,

though we have broken up. i want you to know tht i will still love and care for you jst like how i used to do and i will be here for you i promise you. whenever you need someone to talk to, i'll be here. whenever you want to change your mind, i will be here too. when there is love, i'll be there. You know I'll keep holding on.
though this will take me a long time to recover from it, but i assure you i will be strong and take things by my stride. thank you for everything youve given me - be it the wees and woes, this is the best relationship i ever had. of cus, i really wld want this to last but i'll fulfill your wish. i'll go it your way no matter how reluctant i feel about it. i really want you to be happy. be happy, okay? i'll wait, and i hope you would change your mind one day. you might think its stupid but im jst following my heart. but i sincerely hope you will move on and find your dream girl in your life and i hope she'll be doubly nice to you compared to me.
i hope that you had a wonderful time with me all these while. those memories that are forever etched in my mind - sentosa campover, laos trip, esplanade experience, the sleepovers, everywhere we go, everything we did together. its memories that money cant buy.
im very unwilling to part but i've enlightened myeslf. what is meant to be is meant to be. what it is not, even if you force, it wont be yours. it will only be physically, not mentally.

youre someone i've love very deeply and im not afraid to say i once see you as my soulmate.
once, we made a pact. we will bring salvation back. im already contented i got the chance.
im glad that we've been in love once.

meanwhile, let me dedicate this to you

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in you heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
'Coz true love never dies

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we never said
In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner, no regrets

Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world, I'd make this last

And when you need my arms to run into
I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel

Because a true love never dies

thank you for making things possible

now my only wish is to pause here and hit the restart button...
santa please? dont turn my christmas into a nightmare...

5/7/06 - 21/12/06

with tons of xoxo;
joycelyn

My Sexy Kisses!